Man On Right Side Of History Surprised To Find He Still Went To Hell


HELL—Daryl Olson was very careful to only advocate the most progressive politics and be an activist for all the popular new causes for social justice and whatnot, and thus he was very surprised to find after he died he went to hell.

“Well, this can’t be correct,” said Olson as he looked at the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels. “I did everything right. I was an activist for all the good causes and screamed at all the bad people online — sometimes in person.”

“I know, it’s crazy, right?” said Satan. “You were on the right side of history — all the history books will say so. To the world, you’re a really great guy.”

“So why am I here?” Olson asked. “Does that God guy know how this is going to make Him look?”

“Yeah, He doesn’t really follow politics or care much about it,” Satan explained.

“Well, that’s wrong,” Olson said. “There are a lot of important issues out there — more important than all that Bible stuff He focuses on.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, dude,” Satan answered.

“Know what I’m going to do?” Olson said. “I’m going to start a protest.”

Satan nodded. “Sure. Do that.”

“Is there a place to get poster board around here?”



Categories: Hell, Satire

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