I
A lad who was very ambitious,
Gave fatwas on all things religious.
Taking the mic,
With no ounce of fiqh,
His ego found it oh-so-delicious.

II
The sufi wanted it mystic,
The salafi said keep it simplistic.
They argued the affair,
And both missed their prayer,
But God says just keep it realistic.

III
A bro who was not quite a lover
Spoke only of jihad, and none other.
The thing is, you see;
It’s hypocrisy,
Won’t defend his wife from his own mother.

IV
A da’i with half-learnt Islam,
His good far outweighed by his harm.
Pied-Piper he played,
Till many they strayed,
Turned liberal, now nothing’s haram.

V
A chap who just watched “Dr Strange”,
Said: “Islam you cannot rearrange.”
But customs, conventions,
And what about inventions,
Is why the Law allows for some change.